Essay 4
In a perfect world, children are raised by their parents in their own homes. Grandparents have the pleasure and joy of spoiling their grandchildren. Then grandparents can send them back home to their parents! Well, it’s not a perfect world that we live in, and more Grandparents are taking on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren these days. What are the effects of grandparents raising grandchildren? What are the effects on the children being raised by their grandparents? What are some of the things we can do to help these families in this situation?
National figures provided by the American Association of Retired Persons says there are 4.9 million children under the age of 18 living in a grandparent-headed household in 2010. That’s up from 4.5 million living in grandparent-headed households 10 years ago. Approximately 20 percent of these children have neither parent present and the grandparents are responsible for their basic needs. That’s approximately 6.3 percent of all children under the age 18 in the U.S. This represents a 30 percent increase from 1990 to 2000 (Goyer, Amy 2010). Of the 65 million grandparents in the United States in 2012, 7 million, or 10 percent lived with at least one grandchild (Bureau, U.S. Census 2014).
There are many different reasons this is happening: military deployment, growth in the number of women being incarcerated, the opiate epidemic, and other reasons. As the opiate epidemic increases, and more social service agencies are stepping in and removing children in these situations; grandparents are stepping up to become full time caregivers for these children. Even without the social service agencies stepping in some grandparents, themselves, are removing the children and choosing to raise them.
Grandparents often do not think twice about taking on the responsibility of assuming custody of their grandchildren when the need arises. I know, this was the case for me. “Family comes first” is what I thought. How could I let my granddaughters live with strangers? Of course, there are positive thing about taking in your grandchildren. Such as seeing them grow up, losing their first tooth is a great milestone to witness. Providing them a stable household is rewarding, and knowing they feel safe at home with you is reassuring to you and them. However, there are many effects I did not consider. It has affected my lifestyle. I could come and go as I pleased before I decided to raise my grandchildren. It has affected my economic status. I was working full time, and was more financially stable. I had difficulties with finding a babysitter on the weekend because I worked the 3-11p.m. shift.
EFFECTS ON GRANDPARENTS
There is a lot of issues that can take a toll on grandparents raising their grandchildren. Grandparent caregiving can be highly stressful and isolating. Some grandparents may feel stress and worry, wondering if they will stay in good health to be able to care for the grandchildren. Caregivers may feel anger and resentment toward the parent, or resent other friends that are enjoying life. Grandparents may also feel guilt, that they have failed to be a good parent to their own child. There are many economic issues that arise from taking on the responsibility of raising grandchildren that can affect the well-being of a household. It can pose a difficult challenge for any grandparent in this situation working or retired. The grandparent is taking on added expenses of clothing, feeding, attaining health insurance, and educating the child. These are unexpected expenses that can prove to be overwhelming to caregivers.
THE EFFECTS ON CHILDREN
These situations affect grandchildren too. Grandkids may have mixed feelings. They may feel like they have lost control of their worlds. They may resent being separated from their parents. The grandchildren sometimes act out with aggressive or inappropriate behavior, trying to gain some sort of control of their lives. They usually will act out at home with their grandparent where they feel safe.
TIPS FOR HELPING GRANDPARENTS
Grandparents should take care of themselves so that they can continue caring for the grandchildren. They should eat well, exercise and get enough sleep. They shouldn’t give up their hobbies and relaxation. Support makes all the difference. Grandparents can seek out support groups, grandparent groups, or just someone to talk to. Connecting with parents with children can also be helpful, maybe trade off babysitting. State resources and financial assistance vary from state to state. I read a blog Grandparents Raising Grandchildren by Karen Best Wright http://www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com/. She has a link on there that has a guide to Internet resources. Assistance varies from state to state and Wright’s links can be very helpful.
TIPS FOR HELPING CHILDREN
They need your comfort and support. The caregiver should put themselves in the grandchild’s shoes. Establish a routine for them, consistency can be comforting. Let the children help with chores, it will help the grandparent as well as help the grandchild feel good. Encourage the children’s input in their new home. Setup clear age appropriate house rules and enforce them consistently. Make sure each grandchild has a private space. Offer your time and attention, making your grandchild or grandchildren feel they are welcomed into their new worlds.
Works Cited
Bureau, US Census. “10 Percent of Grandparents Live with a Grandchild.” The United States Census Bureau. N.p., 22 Oct. 2014. Web. 27 April 2017.
Goyer, Amy. “More Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, Census Data Shows Increase In…” AARP. N.p., 20 Dec. 2010. Web. 29 Apr. 2017.
Sands, R., Goldberg-Glen, R. (2000). Factors associated with stress among grandparents raising their grandchildren. Family Relations, 49(1), 48-52.
Smith, Melinda, and Jeanne Segal. “Grandparents Raising Grandchildren.” Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: The Rewards and Challenges of Parenting the Second Time Around, HELPGUIDE.ORGG, Apr. 2017, www.helpguide.org/articles/grandparenting/grandparents-as-parents.htm. Accessed 17 May 2017.
Wright, Karen Best. “Grandparents Raising Grandchildren” 1998-2015 http://www.raisingyourgrandchildren.com/ Accessed 4 May 2017.